Intercollegiate Quidditch Association - Four Years of Glory

I did some stupid stuff in college, the stuff I remember is pretty bad and I have a vague notion that there is alot worse that has been blocked out by the wonders of alcohol.

I did not however participate in Quidditch at the collegiate level, partly because back then we didn't have Quidditch and partly because I'm not batshit crazy. However there are (according to the various IQA sites) about 4000 people who are.

So since I have nothing else better to do right this moment lets take a closer look at Intercollegiate Quidditch.

I had wanted to post some information about the rules of this exciting/retarded college sport however the IQA site will not make the official rules or guidebooks available for 'casual perusing' - which I suppose is appropriate since they are pretend wizards and need to keep their pretend magic a secret from all of us 'muggles' - otherwise we would know of their pretend world of imaginary wonders.

In looking over their history section however some of their secret ways come to life such as the fact that the brooms clutched between their legs offer no propulsion they just make it harder and less (or more) pleasant to run. Instead of being a magic ball with wings the Snitch is a ball in a sock that is hanging out of the back of a cross-country runners shorts. Since they did not want every game decided by one person grabbing a ball hanging from a cross-country runners ass they decided to make the Snitch worth 50 points instead of it being worth infinity points like in the movies and I assume books.

I don't know a whole hell of alot about Quidditch but some people try to throw balls through hoops while others try to prevent it and still others throw balls at the guys trying to throw balls through hoops. It is kind of like dodge ball if you added rubbing your genitals with a stick to it while wearing a cape ... sort of.

In fall of 2005 at Middlebury College in Vermont a man named Xander Manshel came up with the idea that it would be cool to get some brooms and towels and play some Quidditch - and shockingly a bunch of his friends agreed with him.

At that moment Collegiate Quidditch was born, and like most unplanned births I presume alot of alcohol was involved.

The first season started as pick-up games every Sunday but late in the semester Xander (now calling himself Commissioner Manshel) declared that they would hold a 'World Cup' event. This first world cup had 12 teams from Middlebury involved, so apparently crazy was in season.

All joking aside this is way more popular than any of the sports I made up while drunk. I presume Xander Manshel is now a powerful and rich cult leader that sleeps on top of a pile of beautiful women covered in money - because he somehow got this thing off the ground. I would not have been anymore shocked if this article was about a successful season of 'Collegiate Pants Shitting' - so hats off to you Commissioner Manshel.

So it has been a little over 4 years since Collegiate Quidditch was founded during what I presume was a drunken party at Middlebury and it is now supposedly at 160 colleges including; Vassar, Princeton, and a bunch of other schools I probably couldn't get into.

The 2008 World Cup had over a thousand spectators - which is a fair amount of crazy to stuff into one area, they had a bit of media coverage too. There is supposed to be a Canadian Cup coming up so there is that to look forward to I guess.

I honestly had never heard of Intercollegiate Quidditch until today, and I am still not completely convinced that this is not just some huge elaborate hoax because my mind reels at the jackassery of it all. I actually would not have been shocked to find out that some geeky college kids had taken time off from playing Dungeons and Dragons and LARPing to go out with brooms and play Quidditch and then promptly got their asses kicked by a group of High School kids that happened upon them in their capes and brooms.

The thing that makes this story at all interesting is that it is not one small group of geeks at some college doing it. It is a fairly large group of geeks at several colleges doing it.

Good for them doing this thing they want to do, but it's still pretty much one of the most retarded things I have ever seen. That being said it's still more interesting that soccer.

Seriously I would go to 5 Quidditch tournaments before I would go to a soccer game - but keep reaching for the stars my friends.